A bit brave

  Some people have anxious times and can’t understand why they are happening. Others know exactly what makes them panicky or fearful. I have experienced both these moments. I can go through a day just feeling anxious and not know why, or I can come face-to-face with something that lights the blue paper of fright. In both cases, I did not understand my reaction or know how to deal with it. I am told that you don’t have a negative feeling without a thought preceding it. For me sometimes the thought was so quick that it had come and gone without me recognising it. Other times I know exactly what the thought is and that is a starting point for dealing with it. I am fortunate that I can see myself in this way but am aware that others can’t or don’t. It is when you come together with other sufferers that a light is shone on the problem. Men who arrive at AMC for the first time need support and friendship but over time the people who are ahead of them on the road to recovery can share ideas a

  Sometimes I can look at what I’m going through, the physical pain, the isolation, and the lack of challenge in my life and accept it all and look forward to the rest of my life with some confidence. These are the good days when I feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my mind is clear. Other days, all these things seem overwhelming and I can’t focus on anything. So, for too many years I blamed the perceived negatives in my life as the cause of my mental illness. I would think, ‘if it wasn’t for this or that, I would be happy’. I know better now. For me, it’s not what is happening in my life but how I perceive it. It’s like the question, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Time has taught me that my depression prevents me from seeing beyond, what I regard, as the negatives in my life. It is the depression that comes first and dictates my negativity. Of course, for some people, it is the opposite. The negative things in their life are piled, one upon another, till th