A bit brave

  Two years ago my self-esteem was at rock bottom. If you had asked me what was good in my life, I would not have been able to think of anything. This illness had made me feel worthless. Today, I feel very different because I have had help; counselling and attending Andy’s Man Club has helped me turn my life round. I am still shielding my wife, so face-to-face at the Wakefield AMC group is still a risk too far for me, but I enjoy the internet meetings. I decided it was time for me to take stock and make a list of all the good things in my life. Both Kay and I have now had our vaccines and that feels like a big step forward.   We are through the winter and can look forward to long sunny days. I can see my family again, admittedly only outside but the fire pit is ready on cold days. I have recognised how important the garden has become for us now that Kay has fractured her spine, so we are planning raised flower beds and a garden room. I really enjoy swimming and my health club is open

  I have never worried about taking tablets for anxiety and depression but my present dosage is as high as it has ever been. It has helped me through some difficult times and allowed me to make the most of my counselling. Everything has been going well in recent weeks despite the pandemic and lockdown, and so my doctor thought it was time to reduce my medication. I was comfortable with that and agreed to reduce one of the two tablets I was taking. I felt confident that I was getting better and all the other factors in my life were looking good. Summer was coming. I had plans to see my daughters and in a couple of weeks, I’d be swimming again. So three weeks ago I reduced the medication I take at night from one tablet to half a dose, thinking I’d reduce it again after a week. It took two weeks for the withdrawal symptoms to subside and during that time I felt tearful most of the time. For the last five days, I have had no night-time tablet and at the moment I feel dreadful. The tablet