A bit brave

  My daughter told me that when things are bad for everyone, I don’t have to pretend that everything will be OK. She said, it’s OK not to be OK, and I don’t have to play the protective father.   I thought that this was sound advice, and it represented a different way of looking at my world. It was later that I realised my words of encouragement were meant to cheer me up. I have grown up always expecting to look on the bright side, laugh things off, and keep my emotions in check. Look where that’s got me! Thirty years of depression and anxiety. The CBT therapy I have undergone seems to suit me because finding the positives in any situation, is what I do. So, what’s the problem? There are things about my character that prevent me from making decisions that will improve my life. There aren’t always positives to find in some situations and the more appropriate response would be anger or acceptance. I understand that if I just dismiss things, they will come back to bite me but I ha...

  Primary School He can’t read so he must be thick. He never reads so he will never improve. There is no encouragement at home to read. He is scolded and shamed for not being able to read. Going to bed late every night meant he is always tired. He never felt an affinity with his teachers. His parents were not academic, with little connection to schooling and in any case, his mum and dad were busy making a living to support three sons. One brother was bright and the other was disinterested and a rebel and the bright brother was advocated by his parents as the model to follow. How on earth did he pass the 11-plus? Today he would have been diagnosed with dyslexia. Grammar School At the Grammer school, they tried to change his values. He felt uncomfortable but held in his fear, pretending to be brave. He felt in a sort of no man’s land. The school was very different from his experiences at home. He watched the middle-class boys, who were bright, self-assured, and socially confide...