The Other Me


When I was first ill, I spent a great deal of time looking for insights that might make me better. Reading self-help books gave me hope that I could make myself well and I took whatever advice that was available. During this time, I began to develop an understanding of my illness and in addition to my many coping strategies, I started to look inwards at those things that made me what I was. I realised that fighting my illness was counter-productive. Playing sports took me away from the feelings and although this was a useful coping mechanism it only gave me a temporary rest bite. I realised that I had to somehow come to terms with those inner feelings that dominated my life. It was at this point I wrote the poem, ‘The Other Me.’

The Other Me
Who is this haunted soul who fills my heart and mind with anguish?
Who comes unannounced and uninvited to smother me with painful emotions.
Who creates a kaleidoscope of unwanted feelings cascading through my mind,
 as if from nowhere.
Who is this constant companion? Tying me with invisible bonds
To an unhappy childhood?

Who persecutes with harsh criticism and sits on my shoulder
Feeding self-doubt.
Who is this silent partner with time to wait?
While I run from myself.
Who patiently gathers strength while I hide from fear with purposeful activity.
Who welcomes my return to reflectiveness, with emotions welling up,
Then slowly weeping out
To confront me with a different reality.

This person is another me. I cannot fight myself.
I do not have the strength.
I must make this other me my friend.
Welcome and embrace the feelings.
Accept them as a part of the true me.
Nurture my silent partner, the child within.
Be at last whole.



Comments

  1. David RyanApril 6, 2020 at 10:57 AM

    I actually think we all run away from ourselves to some extent, we are told to strive, to excel, to push ourselves, as if we are not good enough or worthy, it's only with age we realise we were alright as we are, we dont need to be superman, we just need to stop, and look around, and just be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bit braveApril 7, 2020 at 2:41 AM

      Everyone is running from something. Recognising this is the first step to feeling better.

      Delete

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