Brave or Foolhardy
As the weeks went by I developed an uneasy truce with my
mind. Once in role at school, my anxiety left me alone but would return at other
times to haunt me. Short breaks, family visits, and exercise helped me cope with
the difficult moments and keep on top of things. In the twelve years, I was a
Headteacher, I was off work only twice, both for three months. The second time
was after I’d spent the six weeks summer holiday in the bone marrow unit in
Pendlebury Hospital while Isaac was having his bone marrow transplant. I
returned to school, feeling utterly exhausted, to face an Ofsted inspection. The
school was given an outstanding verdict and I was praised for my leadership. I
told my staff that I would need a couple of weeks to recover but was off for
three months. Having done all I could to improve the school and knowing that my
daughter would need help with Isaac, I decided to retire. At 55 and physically
fit I looked forward to a long retirement, new challenges, and a chance to deal with
my mental health. Whether for the previous twelve years I had been brave or simply foolhardy is not for me to judge but I'm proud that I managed to do it.
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