Understanding my condition

In lockdown, I have attempted to keep active at a level that doesn’t make my injuries worse. For the most part, I have been able to do this although when I fail I have some bad days. This balancing act, between being active and staying injury-free or at least, at a low pain threshold, is quite difficult because I never know how my body will react to some activities. Two days ago, I squatted down to paint a chair and my knee was in agony so I have spent the time resting my leg and trying to keep upright. A little light painting of a garden seat but no heavy work. Doing nothing leaves me anxious so I have to choose activities that work around the injuries. I have begun to accept that I am getting old and I can’t do what I used to do. This has been a hard lesson to learn and my acceptance is still conditional. When in a lot of pain, acceptance goes out the window but I do have a much healthier view of my physical condition. Generally, a simple routine with no extra demands on me and an attempt to accept the consequences of growing old has helped me cope with the lockdown. Good weather, long days, and enjoyable activities are helping me cope. I have not felt the need to phone the Samaritans and although I have sometimes felt tearful in a morning I have not cried. 13 weeks and counting.