Working on two fronts



             1.   Getting through each day and      2. Understanding my condition.
Getting through each day, while in lockdown. I have been trying to find a daily routine that keeps me busy but calm. What I try to do is find enjoyable yet challenging jobs that distract me and relax me. A successful day would look like this. Wake and get out of bed immediately. Put on my bedside light and look around my room for all those things that make me feel better. My guitar hanging on the wall, my new bedside lights, my daughter’s painting, pictures of my family, and the chairs that I have renovated. I have my breakfast and then watch Netflix for an hour. A good film is a great distraction and delays the time I spend on my computer. I enjoy using the computer but find too much and my headaches return. My wife is resting in bed so I take the shopping list and we agree what I need to buy at our local Co-op. I dress and then go to do the shopping. Returning home, I disinfect all the packaging and give the paper to my wife. Her illness requires that I shield her and that she rests most mornings. At this point, I make us both a drink and I sit down for a well-earned rest and a little more Netflix. Before lunch, we have a bath which I find quite useful because it helps with all my aches and pains. My wife will then make dinner with my help, and together we watch a little television. News about the pandemic or something light-hearted although increasingly we are running out of programmes we like. In the afternoon I try to busy myself in the garden or doing some DIY in the garage if it is raining. So far during this lockdown, I have stripped the bathroom cabinet, stripped a bedroom chair, and am in the process of renovating a garden seat. I have to be careful how much of this I do because my back and arms are still recovering from injuries sustained last year. In many ways being able to do these things is quite a triumph because when at my worst mental state I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed. After tea, we have a walk or go in the garden and at about the same time each day, I lie on my bed and do guided relaxation, which clears my brain. Around 8 o’clock I have a small glass of wine and on five evenings I use Zoom. Two mental health meetings, one quiz, one choir session, and one family get together. By bedtime, I am at my best and feel quite relaxed. I am sometimes reluctant to go to bed because I know that the following morning I won’t feel this good. I listen to my audiobook for about 15 minutes and find myself drifting off to sleep. One of my antidepressants has been very useful in allowing me to sleep well. I wake the following morning, feeling anxious and down and start all over again. I have come a long way in the last year when I couldn’t get out of bed and felt my life was pointless. This is a routine that helps me cope but everyone must find their own way forward. If you are at your worst at the moment please don’t despair. One small step is a major triumph when you are ill.
Understanding my condition:
While I am getting through each day I am also doing other things, in order to learn about my illness and help me recover. I will outline these in my next blog.

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