CBT has it helped me?



When I first met the psychiatrist, I was at rock bottom. We began by exploring the thoughts that troubled me and there were many. Over time, I identified the areas of most concern and we began a process of looking at my negative thinking and attempting to produce more positive thoughts. Most of my thinking did improve as I went through the process of identifying each area that troubled me. Awareness was a big factor in getting better but nothing was instant. Unlike the films they make, where people are miraculously cured by a change in lifestyle or a sudden insight, my improvement was to be a hard slog. I would balance the negatives against the positives and could see the road I needed to travel. Seeing the road and getting on to it were two different things. Knowing what was needed was not the same as feeling what was needed and that took time. Over time I began to feel differently about many issues that troubled me and the path was rocky with many setbacks but slowly I began to feel better. The one area where progress was limited was pain and injury leading to anxiety and depression. My thinking was illogical and emotionally charged. I would dwell on the worst-case scenario, catastrophise as the doctor called it. After many years I began to explore the idea of acceptance. Accepting that being physically fit was not a prerequisite for recovery. Accepting that I was no longer young and couldn’t be as active as I used to be. Accepting that it was more important to be mentally strong than physically strong. Now, when I’m suddenly in pain I can stop myself from panicking by reminding myself that I am in my mid-seventies and this is normal. I am beginning to accept my place in the world and am trying not to fight the aging process. I no longer make lists but the arguments continue in my head and I think the positives are winning.



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