Andy's Man Club If only I'd broken my leg

 If I had a broken leg and was in obvious discomfort and pain, people would sympathise and be supportive. If I had mobility issues I would expect people to willingly help me. If my mind is broken I should expect the same level of understanding and support but this doesn’t always happen. A broken leg is visible and many people, at some stage, will have broken a bone so they can empathise with what I would be going through. I have found that it takes a unique person to sympathise and empathise with a broken mind. Why do you think this is?

Maybe I must first convince myself that I am worthy of help before I can convince others. Many people with anxiety and depression blame themselves for their illness and the low self-esteem that accompanies it. Many people with mental illness are ashamed to tell their friends and loved ones how they feel, for fear of being judged. So people, particularly men, say nothing about the crisis they are going through and try to cope with their illness on their own. All the negative thoughts surging through their minds are left to multiply and corrode. For young men who can’t talk about how they feel, this can lead to the worst possible outcome. The image of men that is promoted through the media caricatures men as strong, silent, and unbreakable. Men are expected to be decisive, to take action, to be heroes, and face up to adversity with determination and grit. We are not supposed to be sensitive. We are not supposed to cry or allow ourselves to be bullied. This toxic masculinity creates the environment for men to feel failures because we are trying to live up to some manufactured macho image. I grew up in a time when John Wayne was making films. He was always confident and self-assured. No one messed about with, ‘the Duke.’ In his films, he always died bravely. Men in my family didn’t hug or even shake hands for that matter. We were all socially distant before covid 19 ever appeared!! So I learned to say nothing and pretend I was OK, and to many people in our society, this is the expected norm. For me, those days are gone. I talk openly to anyone who will listen. I have told all my family and friends that I suffer from anxiety and depression and I post on the internet for everyone to see. Not everyone understands but my view is ‘that’s their problem not mine’. I feel no shame or guilt and I hope in time that all my dear friends at Andy’s Man Club can speak out to a wider audience as I do, just as if they have a broken leg. AMC opened a new group in Preston last week. We are making a difference. When you can’t talk to those closest to you, you can talk to men who know your pain.

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