My illness will not define me.

 


At my worst depression, I couldn’t get out of bed. At my worst with my anxiety, I didn’t want to speak to anyone or go anywhere. Like many people my illness was controlling the way I lived. From the first time, I had a panic attack I resolved that I was not going to let this illness defined me. I went back to work and for the next 12 years successfully run a large organisation, as my mental problems came and went. I am not unique in this, because I have met many brave men who were holding down jobs and keeping going despite their mental health problems. It is unfortunate that fear can prevent people from living the life they long for and, although I understand that, I had to be different. My philosophy has always been, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. If you don’t try to conquer your fears, you will never know the joy of new things. I am not saying this is easy but it is who I am. I refuse to be bowed down by this affliction and will live my life in the best way I can. This has allowed me to be high functioning but that doesn’t mean that my mind is not in mental pain. I have moments when I feel exhausted and need to remove myself from whatever I am doing. I have moments when I really don’t want to talk to anyone and I have moments when even small tasks seem insurmountable. Despite all this, I expect to live a normal life and enjoy all those moments that offer great meaning to me. My illness will not define me.

Comments

  1. David RyanJanuary 29, 2021 at 12:36 PM

    I think fear needs to be conquered otherwise you won’t be able to reach for your goals

    ReplyDelete
  2. A bit braveJanuary 29, 2021 at 3:30 PM

    Yes David, conquering fear is not the same as eliminating it. Only people who have experienced anxiety will understand the difference.

    ReplyDelete

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