Have you watched Alien

 

We can all debate the value of antidepressants and there is no one right answer for everyone. I see the benefits for me because at my worst I would not have got through without some help. Taking these tablets allowed me to be more rational and talk about those things that were bringing me down. There are people who don’t wish to take any of these tablets for all sorts of valid reasons and I respect their view. I have spent the last two months reducing the dosage of my tablets and strangely at this moment in time the drugs feel like an enemy. If you have ever watched alien and seen what happened to John Hurt when the alien escapes from his body, tearing him apart and of course ending his life, you will have some idea of what I feel I am going through. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the advice given on the Internet about reducing this particular tablet. It said to lower the dose by 10% each month to avoid too many bad reactions. Always assuming that I could find a way of reducing a small tablet by 10% it would have taken me 10 months to quit completely. So I reduced the tablet by half and then by ¼ and attempted to quit over a two-month period. The last 20 days have been difficult as, once again, I am reduced from a calm and happy person to a shivering wreck. It felt as though the residue of my drug was fighting with my brain to prove who was the strongest. I know I will come through this and feel well again but at the moment a battle is raging inside my body as the results of withdrawal impact. It does feel that there is something alien inside of me which is trying to take me back to a place I don’t want to go. It is attempting to mask all those positive feelings that are in my head and give me doubts about my recovery. Last month it took me 14 days to feel normal after reducing my tablet by 50% so I am hoping this will happen again but so far I still feel rough. I expect that the alien inside me will leave and I will get back to some form of normality. Hopefully, unlike John Hurt, the alien will not be ripping my stomach apart.

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