Grief
There is no place for looking on the bright side and I’m
told that if you don’t grieve for someone then that grief is added to the next
time you lose a loved one. So, I’m learning to grieve for those who recently
passed but also for those I’ve lived without for decades. Isaac my grandson, my
mum and dad, and brothers Jack and Harry. From my family that lived at 26
Coleridge Road, I'm the only one left so I am allowed to be sad. Watching my
dad on video for the first time in 40 years and spending time collecting photos
of him for the village history, has brought me close to him. In the past, I
felt disconnected and impartial about him and his life, but the photos,
combined with my counselling have made him more real. I realise that I have
never really grieved for him or admired his strength and resilience. I do miss
him although I’m not sure he would understand what I am going through. I also
miss my brother Jack and am grieving for my little family that lived in
Coleridge Road for all those years. Talking to my therapist this morning about
this, I began to cry. I miss Isaac and every day I am reminded of his charm,
humour, and openness. I know
that I must stop fighting and accept these feelings. Reassuring myself and
others is pointless until I surrender to these emotions.
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