Alone again.

 It is possible to be in a crowd and feel utterly alone. It is possible to be in a group that is laughing but feel alone. It is possible to live your life and never feel that you belong. At one time or another, I have felt like this, but no one would know. I was taught at a very young age to hide my deepest worries and feelings but now trying to be more open is extremely hard. I want to talk about how I feel because until I do, conversations about other things seem pointless and irrelevant. This may sound selfish but is paramount in my attempt at recovery. I work with an outstanding counsellor who has identified the intense loneliness that I feel when I’m low and he is my safety valve. I can talk at AMC and that is helpful, but it doesn’t relieve those deeper feelings. For two hours I can feel part of something important and am surrounded by men who want to listen and help. If I can be proactive in a group, I can make people laugh and at times help them with their problems which also lifts me. In society there are some people actively hostile to those with anxiety and depression, seeing them as inferior or weak. Some people are sympathetic but don’t know how to help. Some people create barriers for their own protection and there are those who suffer as you do but just want to unload their problems on you. We are all human with different strengths and frailties so each day we pick ourselves up and try to deal with both the present and our destructive past and hope that along the way we will find an empathetic ear.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 3, 2023 at 3:59 AM

    Very true. Been called weak before, was hurt until I realised it wasn't based on anything. Just a cheap insult. Keep up the good recovery work, you are a beacon out there x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A bit braveSeptember 3, 2023 at 9:16 AM

      If i can change peoples attitude to mental illness I will have made a difference.

      Delete

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